Worthy
by Special Agent FUNK
Summary: After Luis dies, Leon struggles with his feelings.


**Disclaimer:** Don't own, Capcom does.

**Inspired by:** I'm PISSED. So there.

**Warnings:** implied slash. Don't like slash? Then don't read it...

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He held the object in his clenched fist, his knuckles ghastly white like the knuckles of a dead man. "Heh, a dead man..." With great force he smashed the object into a nearby wall, watching it shatter into a million little pieces.  
He liked seeing it shatter. It made him happy to know that all things, as sturdy as they might seem, were breakable. They were fragile. They didn't look easy to break, but they could. You just had try hard enough.

He had broken too. He too had shattered into a million little pieces, despite the fact he looked sturdy. He too, apparantly, was fragile. Sure, he was still in one piece, but he didn't feel that way. He felt like a million little pieces, trapped inside some kind of box which would be his body. It's a sad thing he didn't have 'fragile' printed on his head, otherwise thing's might have looked a little different now.

Oh, he had felt so good earlier. So at home, even though he was in a foreign country, trying to save some damsel in distress. He had felt at home, at least while being around **him**.

Him... Luis.

_"You're so... Out of touch." He had stated slowly._

_"I've no idea what you're talking about." Leon frowned. "Go bother someone else."_

Why had he said that to Luis? 'Go bother someone else'. How very wrong of him. How very wrong to chase away the person that knew who he was, even thought they'd just met.

He searched the area and tried to ignore the screams coming from another room. Ashley. Leon didn't want to deal with Ashley right now, he just wanted to destroy something. And he wasn't quite sure if he could keep himself from hurting Ashley, so he ignored her for now. She would be fine, he was sure of it.

"Saddler..." Leon sounded dangerous when he saw the painting hanging there, 'decorating' the room in the worst possible way. He searched his pockets for a lighter, but then quickly realised he didn't smoke anymore and always left his lighter at home now.

He shrugged it off and took the painting from the wall, almost in a caring way. Both hands gripped around the sides and smashed it hard into his knee, breaking it in two. Then he grabbed both pieces and smashed them again, now breaking it in four.  
It didn't satisfy him, so he went to look for more, but not before grabbing the 5000 pesetas that were hiding behind the painting. "Heh, I could use that." He mumbled to himself, envisioning killing Saddler with weapons he bought with the man's own money.

Walking around aimlessly, Leon looked for a window. A window would be perfect, if he had a window and a chair, he could do some serious redecorating. Sure, a rock would do too, but he thought a chair would feel better.

He entered a hallway and stopped in his tracks. There was silence around him. No screaming girl, no yelling monks and no funny accent. No funny accent, especially not his...

_"The first stage is denial..." Luis had said to him. "Usually people get past that, but it appears you didn't... Not just yet."_

_"You're the one that's in denial." Leon had frowned and left, trying to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his head telling Luis was right._

A window and a chair. The chair broke through the glass with such ease, it hardly did anything for him. The sound of shattering glass wasn't as hard as he had hoped it would be, and now his chair was gone. Leon shrugged again and went to get another, the castle was filled with chairs. Old chairs, expensive chairs, ugly chairs and comfy chairs. And Leon wanted to see them all destroyed.

The moment he broke a second window someone entered. Leon saw it was just a monk and he reached for his handgun, but he didn't take it out. Instead he walked up to the monk and knifed it in the legs, making it drop on its knees. Leon's hand reached for the monk's throat and he squeezed it. He squeezed it hard.  
The monk tried to fight back, even landed a few punches, but Leon didn't let go of it. Not even when he started to bleed from his eyebrow. Slowly but surely Leon took the monk's life, enjoying every single second of it.  
When it suddenly weakened he let go of it and continued on his quest of destruction. He still wasn't satisfied, the anger was still pulsating through his veins, intercepting every single logical thought that was about to enter his brain.

Upon entering a new room he saw something shiny. When he picked it up he realised it was a 'treasure'. Small, pretty and perfect. Too bad Leon didn't like perfection anymore...

_"So..." Luis had sounded amused, "if you dislike me that much, then how come you stop everytime I pass by?"_

_Leon snickered. "Come on man, we're on the same boat, we need to keep in touch."_

_"I like that, keeping in touch." Luis smirked. "How about we keep in touch a little closer?"_

_Leon had blushed and ran off. Again. With that annoying voice in the back of his head. Again._

Leon destroyed the treasure. He destroyed perfection with the back the of his hand, which was now bleeding from the impact. But he didn't care. He didn't feel it. Blood was just blood, a sign of being alive. Nothing more and nothing less.

Suddenly he felt very tired and took a seat on a nearby chair. He rested his head in the palms of his hands and sighed, wondering how that could've happened. How it was possible to find someone that was on the page as you, and then watch that same someone die, only hours later.

Yes, Leon had been in denial, Luis had seen that right. Of course he was in denial, he couldn't be himself, it would've costed him his job. And work was everything. Without work Leon was nothing. Without work he was just someone random, someone without a name or a face, just a number.

And Leon didn't want to be a number, he wanted to be a somebody. To prove to his parents that he was worth their attention. To prove Ada that he was worth her time. To prove Krauser that was worthy of being the man's comrade.

And being that... that word, it wouldn't do him much good.

Leon wanted to be worthy, and in his opinion, for some stupid reason, two men together weren't worthy. They were weak.

Now, at this very moment, Leon realised it wasn't weak. Feelings are never weak, no matter what they are or where they come from. But he couldn't tell Luis. He couldn't tell the man because Luis was dead. Just dead.

_"Maybe someday you'll realise it's not a bad thing, Leon." Luis had smiled. "And maybe... Maybe we'll meet again on that day."_

Leon had just shaken his head, too confused to put his feelings into words. "We'll see, Luis."

Leon cringed. 'We'll see, Luis.' With a deep sigh he got up from that chair and started to walk towards the room where Ashley was. And where Luis still was, motionless on the ground.

Upon entering he walked up to Luis and kneeled down on the ground. A bit hesitant he brushed away some of the hair that was in the man's face. "I'm sorry Luis..." Leon said quietly. "You are worthy."

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Ehm. That was odd, after writing crackfic after crackfic, this was very confusing. But I enjoyed writing it and am not pissed anymore xD  
If you liked it, please drop me a review =)


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